“Selling is pushy and I feel like I’m annoying people”

Sexy-Soulful-Selling

Selling is pushy and I feel like I’m annoying people…

Read the rest of “Selling is pushy and I feel like I’m annoying people”

That’s what a friend of my mothers said while we were all out to lunch celebrating my mothers 25 years of service in her career. I had told my mothers friends what I do for a living and mentioned that I was launching a program soon on how to sell your services. I explained that many entrepreneurs view sales as a dirty word and as something they don’t actually realize they do in their businesses.

The friend in question was a retiree and had started a direct sales business on the side to make extra income. She said that she didn’t like to sell because she felt like she was being pushy and annoying people. She went on to say “there are just certain people who can do it and I’m just not made for it.” She said it so matter-a-factly as if that’s just the way sales is. I didn’t knock her for her perception. It’s one of the most common sticking points for entrepreneurs. Believe me I’ve been there.

The truth is that selling is not just for some people. When you run a business there are no two ways about it either you offer services and get paid for them or you don’t have a business, period. Offering your services and being paid for them is SELLING and it is absolutely a learnable skill just like anything else.

When you don’t share what you do with the intention of getting your transformation out there and being profitable, you do you and your potential clients a disservice. No one wins. You want to be doing what you love and have your financial needs met, right?

Then we’ve got to kill the noise on your fear of SELLING.

SELLING does not have to be a dirty word. In fact SELLING can be sexy! Especially when you change your mind about what selling is really about and create enticing heartfelt offers your potential clients truly want.

I’ll be teaching my peeps exactly how to do this in my upcoming course Sexy Soulful Selling. Get all the det’s by clicking here…

In fact, click here and get a taste of what I’ll be teaching in this free training audio: Sexy Soulful Selling: Your Gateway To Financial Orgasm!

Remember, selling isn’t something you do TO a person, it’s something you do FOR them.

I love you, and I sell to you because of it!

JeeJee

The Tongue Can Be Your Worst Enemy!

Your-Words-Can-Be-Your-Worst-Enemy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What you are about to read was taken
from an anonymous author.

Read the rest of The Tongue Can Be Your Worst Enemy!

I am sharing this because many of us start
our day without minding something 
very important and then we wonder why
our day starts off unfavorably and just gets
worse.

Well you no longer have to guess why.

Because you are completely responsible,
and you have complete control over these
three important factors… your thoughts, words
and feelings.

These things cause the vibration that you 
live in and attract back to you all manner of
circumstances, people and events.

You’re picky about the clothes you wear, the
car you drive, where you live, and the food you
eat but you’re not picky about the thoughts
you think.

So this my friend is just a reminder of your
power to create your life and that includes
everything going on in your business.

Without further adieu here it is…

THE TONGUE CAN BE YOUR WORST ENEMY!

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have
power to create conditions in your life. What you 
speak about, you can bring about.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your job, 
you might lose your job.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your body,
your body can become sick.

If you keep saying you can’t stand your car, 
your car could be stolen or just stop operating.

If you keep saying you’re broke, guess what?
You’ll always be broke.

If you keep saying you can’t trust a man or trust
a woman, you will always find someone in your
life to hurt and betray you.

If you keep saying you can’t find a job, you will
remain unemployed.

If you keep saying you can’t find someone to
love you or believe in you, your very thought
will attract more experiences to confirm your 
beliefs.

If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in
a relationship then you might end up with it.

Turn your thoughts and conversations around
to be more positive and power packed with faith,
hope, love and action.

Don’t be afraid to believe that you can have what
you want and deserve.

Watch your Thoughts, they become words.
Watch your Words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve,
you get even less than you settle for.

Thought I would share this with you. “In the search
for me, I discovered truth. In the search for truth,
I discovered love. In the search for love, I
discovered God. And in God, I have found everything…”

-Anonymous

Begin this day right, remember how powerful
you are. Watch your thoughts and words they
become your life.

Create on purpose…

JeeJee

 

I had no money to feed my son…

JeeJee-Saafir-Journal-of-Success

There are times in our lives when we just don’t know where to turn, we can’t see how things are going to work out, and we’re scared.

Read the rest of I had no money to feed my son…

I remember such a moment years ago. It was about two months after I’d graduated from college. I was waiting for my very 1st child support check to come because all my stipends from school had finally dried up and I had no job.

I had a drop of gas left in the car. I had taken my son to school that morning and given him my last $5 to go on a field trip that day. There was only enough gas to go back to the school to pick him up and not enough to get us home. And what the hell were we gonna eat… I had no money.

I called the automated line to hear how much I would be receiving from child support that day. The message I heard made my heart sink because it wasn’t enough to get us through the week.

I called my son’s father in a rage knowing that it had to be his fault. He probably hadn’t made his payment, it was something I’d never put past him at the time.

I was angry. He’d told me that he’d made his payment, but I couldn’t believe him, he had a loooonnnnng history of lying to me about everything. I thought “how could he do this to our son… again.” Then I thought, “Why did I expect things to be different?” I hung up the phone and I cried.

There were a few hours left before I had to go pick my son up from school. I didn’t know what to do.

I had been studying an old Tony Robbins course I’d borrowed from my mother a few weeks earlier. Between job searches I began to study success, spirituality and had started meditating. I had been doing every single exercise he had in that program with a commitment I’d never felt before.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I got out my journal that day, which was aptly titled “The Journey of My Success,” and I turned to the page which read “5 problem solving questions.

The picture above is the exact page from that journal and all that other crap hanging out is some of the best stuff I’ve ever written down in my life to help me along my journey.

But back to the story…

I went through each question writing down my answers. Here are the questions:

  1. What’s great about this? If nothing… What could be great about this?
  2. What’s not perfect yet?
  3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
  4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to have things the way I want them?
  5. How can I do what’s necessary to get the job done and enjoy the process?

Something shifted in me at that moment and even though I still didn’t know what to do I felt a sense of trust and ease.

I got up from my chair knowing that I didn’t have any gas to drive anywhere and I walked all the way to the college library. It was maybe a 10 minute walk. It was a gorgeous, warm sunny day and as I walked I just appreciated the day and my life. After I spent some time there it was time to head home to get the car so I could go pick my son up from school.

Still unsure of what to do and admittedly a twinge worried, I headed back just trusting that things would work out. Faith was all I had.

I got back to our apartment and checked the mailbox and there in that box were two child support checks!! The automated system had only registered one of them. I was amazed and utterly relieved.

I went to put gas in the car and pick my son up from school. He was happy to see me as usual and totally oblivious to our situation. He talked on about his field trip and we had a fabulous day together. It warmed my heart to know that we were taken care of.

But the goodness doesn’t end there… I got a job that same month. A job which afforded me time in my work day to still read and work on my success practices. I had a spacious desk and a huge window with plenty of sunshine pouring in. And even though I wasn’t returning to school that fall to join the Masters in Family Therapy program I was accepted into, I’d received “out of the blue,” a $5000 scholarship I hadn’t even applied for from the Mayor of Detroit for being an exemplary student. Holy shit…

We’ve all got our stories, we’ve all had our dramas, and our real life struggles. I’ve got a shitload of stories that luckily I can now look back on and supremely appreciate and or laugh at til’ it hurts.

There are probably still going to be times when you don’t know if things are going to work out, there may still be times when you’re scared, there may still be times when you want to crawl into a hole and not come out until things are better, but I’ll tell you those things can become few and far between because… you’re never, ever alone. 

There is the human part of you, but there is also the bigger spiritual part of you. You are a spiritual being having a human experience and when you trust that you’re taken care of, I mean really trust… I promise you, you will be.

Don’t ask questions like, Why isn’t anything working? or What’s wrong with me? Those questions dis-empower you.

Don’t bank all your faith on what you hope others are gonna do for you. Put you’re faith in the indwelling power of spirit that is within you. The power that brings great things to you “through” other people. Go directly to the source and you’ll never fail. Ask empowering questions and watch as you’re guided right to the answers. Get the hell outta your own way and let the magic happen…

I love you,

JeeJee

 

 

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More Discovery Sessions = More Clients, 5 Ways To Have More

JeeJee-Saafir-How-To-Have-More-Discovery-Sessions

[Repost from 8/13/13]

Maybe you’ve heard and maybe you haven’t (I certainly didn’t when I was a relationship coach), that the #1 way to get clients is to have discovery sessions.” It goes by many names in the coaching industry… intro sessions, sample sessions, free sessions, “get to know you sessions,” etc.

Read the rest of More Discovery Sessions = More Clients, 5 Ways To Have More

Most, if not all of your clients will come to you from these sessions. You certainly want to have a conversation with them to see if they are a fit for you anyway so it sort of goes without saying that you have to have conversations with potential clients.

If you don’t have enough coaching clients part of the reason is because you’re not getting enough people to have discovery sessions. How many clients you have is mostly determined by 3 things:

  1. How many discovery sessions you do each month
  2. How long clients actually stick around
  3. How good you are at enrolling people from the discovery session into hiring you as their coach

Seriously, if you can improve any of these areas your coaching business will definitely grow, and if you can get all three poppin’ woohoo your business is going to soar!

So let’s get to the juicy part:

Here are 5 ways to start having a lot more discovery sessions and a lot more clients.

1. Use your newsletter. If you don’t have one, they’re pretty easy to get set up. You can use Constant Contact (they have a free 60 day trial), Aweber (only $1 to start), and even Wysija (a wordpress plugin that allows you to send newsletters right from inside your own wordpress blog). There are many other options but these are a few of the most commonly used.

And here’s something the guru’s don’t tell you. You don’t have to have a “Newsletter.” You can send an informative email (consistently) with links to your website, blog, and social media outlets for example. Newsletters do have a professional feel, but what I’m attracted to isn’t necessarily the look of the newsletter as I am in the content that is being shared. If the content is great and I can benefit from it I don’t give a crap what the newsletter looks like. Admittedly I find that it’s the male species who can just reel me in with a plain old content rich email. I find that women do like the beauty of a newsletter. Do what feels good to you.

So here’s whatcha’ do… Send out an offer for a free session to your newsletter list. Maybe you’d give it a name like “Relationship Rehab Session” or “Save My Sex Life Session.” And don’t make this mistake… Most coaches put their offer deep into their newsletter where only a few people will see it. And with almost everyone using their phones and tablets these days to check on EVERYTHING, you want to have your offer there so they can see it before they even have an opportunity to scroll down. Send out a single newsletter/email specifically about the discovery session you’re offering!

2.  Grow your subscriber/newsletter list. This is where you’ll stay in contact with your potential peeps and can make your offers for a free session from time to time. Here’s a tip on where coaches go wrong. They don’t choose a target audience/niche. They’re not tuned into their SOUL clients. Granted when you’re first starting out in business it may take a little bit of time before you hone in on who you’d love to work with and that’s ok, you’ll find your way, but do it sooner than later.

When you’re fresh into dating you go through a few frogs before you kiss your prince(ss) charming, and along the way you develop a lot of preferences for the ideal mate(s) you want and would love to spend your time/life with. So it goes with your clients, you do have preferences and as you get clearer on them you’ll realize the benefits, ie., you’ll do your best work, marketing will become easier, you’re message will become clearer and you’ll love your clients and they’ll love you.

When you don’t get clear you end up writing about a bunch of general stuff that can help anyone, but does that capture the hearts and minds of people the way one specific group will? The result… your message is diluted and few people will ever end up reading your emails/newsletters on a regular basis. It is what it is.

3. Build a case for WHY someone should spend their time and energy having a discovery session with you. Many coaches describe their free session in such a blah way: “I offer a free exploratory coaching session. If you would like to see if coaching is a fit for you, call blah, blah, blah, or email blah, blah, blah.

blah, blah, blah session

Just because something is FREE99 (as my mate likes to call it) doesn’t mean people will want it. Honestly people can act like they love free sh@$ all day long, but the truth is that they value things that are free far less than they value things that they actually spent their money on. So in turn “free sessions” need to be “sold. Write up some COMPELLING (JUICY) reasons people should have a session with you and the real tangible benefits they’ll leave the session with.

4. Let people know that you want to work with them. When you rendezvous with people that you think would be great to work with, let them know “I’d like to coach you.” Many times they’ll be flattered. Compliment them by telling them why you’d like to work with them. “You know what, you have some really great energy and I’d like to watch you really get the love you deserve.” Or “I heard you tell your story and your passion just got me so inspired and I’d like to help you make your vision a reality.” Many people will be open to having a discovery session if it makes sense for them. So don’t forget to show them the value.

5. Go for the “easy yes” before you offer the free session. Many coaches don’t realize how uber-important these sessions are, but once they do they’re off and runnin’ offering sessions to everybody they meet at networking events. Don’t get me wrong this CAN be effective, however you miss out on connecting with and building a relationship that could later lead to a free session and hiring you. If telling someone you just met about your products and services is like trying to kiss someone you just met, then offering your session is like trying to hug someone you just met (even though for some strange reason people do want to hug me the first time we meet).

Instead you want offer a “Special Report (Ex. 7 Mistakes to Avoid Before You Get Into Your Next Relationship), Teleseminar, Audio Program, Video Tip(s) anything that is of extreme interest to the peeps you’re networking with. More people will jump at that offer and you’ll be able to stay in contact with them so you can send them your articles, blog posts, tips, newsletters, etc., and later offer your free session.

So get out there (no huggin’ and kissin’ just yet), give great value, get some discovery sessions going & you’ll most certainly start getting a lot more clients!

JeeJee

P.S. “Get More Clients” Sessions are available on a limited basis. Get your spot now. Your peeps are waiting for you. When you help people get what they want, you can’t help but be successful. Get your application here.

 

5 Biggest Mistakes that Turn Clients Off (Parts 3-5)

JeeJee-Saafir-Mistakes

In my last article we talked about 2 of the 5 biggest mistakes that turn clients off. If you missed mistakes 1 and 2 you can click here to read that post. There are 3 more mistakes that are just as critical as the first two.

Read the rest of 5 Biggest Mistakes that Turn Clients Off (Parts 3-5)

Let’s have a look see shall we…

Mistake #3

Working with any and everybody.

I know this is a tough one for a lot of relationship and sex pros. I get it, as soulful entrepreneurs we’ve got talents and gifts coming out our hoo-has, and sometimes it’s hard to know which is the best passion to follow at any given time. We know we can help lots of people and we know that we could be really brilliant with what we have to share.

But when you’re trying to work with everybody your message gets diluted. Your signal is going out but it’s all over the place. It’s not tuned to your ideal clients, you don’t stand out from the crowd and/or hardly anyone’s picking up your signal because you’re so scattered.

Even if you were just a life coach in general, there are still clients who are ideal for you. But I don’t think you’d be very effective just by saying “I work with anyone 18-80, whether they’re blind, cripple and crazy.

Imagine with me for a moment that you had a nice amount of clientele, but your whole practice was full of headache clients. How much do you think you would hate your work? Headache-Client-JeeJee-Saafir

When you work with anybody and everybody and you’re not specific about those who are the best match for you, you run the risk of attracting a hodge podge of clients who might be demanding, needy, desperate, or (add annoying behavior here)… I won’t say they’d all be like that but if you don’t get specific you could bet you’d get your share of headache clients.

The problem is that there’s this underlying fear going on behind the scenes when you say “Oh, I work with anybody,” or “I don’t want to choose…” you’re actually expressing an energy of lack and limitation.

It’s about being afraid to leave people out & what’s really behind that fear is the fear of “what if no body shows up,” “what if I don’t get any clients.”

So when you have a process for getting clear on who your ideal client is you begin to attract those who are a match for you and you stop wasting your time with people who aren’t.

Now I’m not telling you to pick a niche that you have to stick with forever but you do need to make a decision on who you’d be the greatest service to right now and move forward with that…

It’s similar to dating. If you’re dating, you’re not going around trying to make every single person you date “the one.” You have preferences about the person (or persons… however you swing) you want to be with, so you need to have preferences about your clients too. You deserve to work with clients you enjoy. These are your SOUL clients. It’s no different from  looking to attract your SOUL mate.

Mistake #4

Keeping your fees low and undercharging. There’s a couple of reasons this is such a big mistake. Let’s dive in.

A. What do people associate higher fees with? Quality, right?

When you go to the movies, you have options: there’s the regular show, there’s 3D, there’s the IMAX experience, there’s 4D, some theaters have reclining seats, you can buy drinks and the whole nine. Sure it costs a little more but you’re paying for quality, you’re paying for a better experience, right? If you go to the dollar show there’s a different quality there. Nothing wrong with that but there’s a different crowd and a different quality.

B. Believe it or not, when you keep your fees low clients are going to doubt your abilities. They are questioning whether you can really help them get results.

C. The big reason keeping your fees low is a turnoff, is because when you do that you attract people with low commitment.When people are investing higher fees their level of commitment is very high. They show up in a different way, you show up in a different way. They actually do the work. You get to hold them accountable and you get to help them. You get to show them how to do things and coach them through whatever is happening. And none of that happens if people aren’t committed.

Mistake #5

Discounting your expertise. A lot of relationship and sex pros are afraid to be the expert they truly are. You’re afraid you don’t know enough, or you wonder “does anyone care about my experiences.”

People do care about your story & it’s what they care about most. This is one of the #1 credibility boosters that matter most to the clients who are willing to pay you. It’s your personal story.

Think of the mentors you’ve invested in, and if you haven’t I hope you will soon, cause believe me nobody makes it there alone. Even the people at the top, the millionaires, multi-millionaires and agents of change in this world have their own mentors and advisors and support, and they all have their stories. Your story tells your clients that you understand them. They want to know that you get them.

Don’t discount your expertise or the value you bring to the table. Years from now someone might be saying this about you: “Damn I’m glad (insert your name) did her thing and shared her expertise with me because she really helped change my life.”

Check in with yourself, are you making any of these mistakes?

Don’t beat up on yourself, you’re just a few tweaks away.

I’m here to help you right now. Send an email to info@jeejeesaafir.com and let’s see if I’m a match to help you today.

5 Biggest Mistakes that Turn Clients Off (Part 1)

JeeJee-Saafir-Big-Mistakes

There can be a variety of reasons why clients don’t hire you, but there are 5 big mistakes that many well meaning relationship & sex pros make that turn clients off.

Read the rest of 5 Biggest Mistakes that Turn Clients Off (Part 1)

And we don’t want that, because these mistakes are what keep you struggling to attract clients, kill your confidence and keep you from making the money you deserve.

Let’s jump right in so you can have clients turned on and eager to invest in you!

#1 You don’t really know what you’re offering.

Often relationship & sexuality pros think their offering coaching or healing, or therapy, or whatever it is you do, but your clients are never buying your process.

When a person goes to the store and buys a pill for their headache, their not paying for a pill their paying for relief from their pain.

Clients are investing in a solution to a particular challenge. They’re not buying the plane, they’re buying the destination. And when you know exactly what they’re challenge is and what it’s really worth to them to solve that problem people will eagerly invest in you.

#2 Deciding on behalf of your client that they can’t afford it or that they will not pay for what you have.

I see it all the time. Often you’ll judge ahead of time before you’ve even had a conversation with your potential client that they probably can’t afford it. You’ll take the little information you know about them (if any) and you’ll say to yourself, “they probably can’t afford it.”

This is an especially sticky point with clients when they realize it’s a good idea to create their first high end program or raise their fees in their current program(s).

It can feel scary at first, and yes a lot of inner shit can surface like “Who am I to charge this much,” “Or I don’t know enough,” “Or I don’t have enough experience,” or “they’ll think I’m greedy,” and the list of self sabotaging thoughts goes on…

But the truth is that when someone wants a solution to a challenge really bad, you’ll be amazed at how they can come up with the money for what they want.

But lets look further because this mistake goes deeper

Think about how you act when you are deciding to purchase something. How often are you thinking, “I can’t afford it?” Really, how often?

Your potential clients are literally making up all these excuses because these are the thoughts you’re constantly thinking in your OWN mind.

Plain and simple… it’s your own money mess and your money story.

These clients obviously find value in what you have otherwise they wouldn’t even be talking about it with you, but because you discount your own value and decide what someone else can do in advance, you shoot yourself in the foot.

You are an energetic walking business card. So whatever thoughts and feelings you have around clients being able to afford your services is exactly what shows up in your world. You cut off the possibility of receiving generous fees and for your clients to step into something amazing.

You DON’T make money decisions for other people.

You have no right to say what someone can and cannot afford, and when you ASSUME, what does that make… an ASS out of you and YOU! Ha, you thought I was gonna say ME. Me thinks not! :-P

If you’re turning people away or not asking for the sale because you think they can’t afford you, even though you might be coming from a place of concern about their circumstances, and even though they’re begging to work with you, you may say no to them and then tomorrow they’ll go find someone else and pay them, and you’d better believe they will!

It’s always about the mindset when it comes to money. Your attitude about money is critical.

Money is nothing but an object. There is no power in money. There is only the power of your thought.

So when we cut ourselves down and we see things as limited whether it’s money, or ourselves or our talents, we shut the flow off. And it’s really good to get a handle on when you’re doing that to yourself, (and no, it’s not about beating yourself up or blaming yourself because that closes off the flow too), but to find out what triggered that and explore it.

Don’t put your money stuff on others.

Well be talking about mindset and money a lot over the coming months and how to turn things around. It’s the two topics that many clients think they’ve got handled until they realize they’re still not getting the results they want and can’t figure out what’s getting in their damn way.

In our next post you’ll learn the final 3 critical mistakes you may be making that turn clients off.

Til Next Time,

Ciao Babe!

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Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

JeeJee-Saafir-why-buy-the-cow

You’ve no doubt heard this old saying. It’s an old adage that was often used to question the notion of why a man would marry a woman if he’s already getting the nookie and all the other amenities from her for free.

In a way the same could be said for getting a business coach.

Read the rest of Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Who really needs a business coach when you can get information on getting clients and making money for free?

It’s one of the many thoughts relationship & sexuality pros think as they’re working to grow their businesses.

It is a legitimate question. Don’t get me wrong.

In this day and age anyone, anywhere can learn anything they want to learn by going to the bookstore, “google,” “youtube” and the other plethora’s of places to find what they’re looking for.

But let me use this opportunity to school you on something you may not realize about this industry.

A business coach does more than just provide you with important information. A coach is more than just an accountability buddy and motivator for you.

A good coach will help you break the self sabotage cycle that causes you to confidently speak to potential clients only to have you clam up when it’s time to ask for the sale.

A good coach will help you overcome your self limiting beliefs so that you break though all of the glass ceilings and barriers that are holding you back from your success.

A good coach won’t buy into your old stories and will teach you how to stop falling into the “trap of tomorrow”, where tomorrow never comes and you continue to get further and further from reaching your business goals.

And as much as our job is to help you uncover the wisdom and answers that are already within you, it’s also to keep it real with you about what not to do, and give you practical marketing and business advice when you find yourself wasting money on the next shiny object you think is the magic pill to your success. 

And when you hit a wall and feel like quitting and giving up a good coach is gonna get you back in and right back on track, because that’s what we do.  

See, a coach is more than just a resource for information on getting clients and making money. Hell, you’re right, you can get that info for free by spending ten minutes on Google… 

…but what a good coach can do for you that you can’t find anywhere else is the help you need to identify your goals, a solid game plan to help you achieve those goals, hope and support when self-sabotage sets in, strength to stay the course even when the going gets tough, and the confidence to help you maintain your goals. 

You know that everyone needs a good coach in order to play up a level or two. 

So if your relationship or sex coaching business doesn’t have enough clients why aren’t you working with a coach who can show you how to create systems so that you can consistently get more clients into your business? 

If you’re limiting yourself or sabotaging your success then why aren’t you working with a coach who can help you dump that old programming that’s keeping you stuck?  

If you’re frustrated, burnt out, or are ready to give up on your dream of owning a successful relationship or sex coaching business, why aren’t you working with a coach to help you get to where you want to be? 

Wouldn’t you tell someone who was frustrated with the results they were getting in their relationship or sex life to hire a coach like yourself? 

So then what’s stopping you? 

Why aren’t you taking your own advise?

Saying that you’ll do it down the line is only putting the responsibility of your success on your future self, when in reality the responsibility is yours to action on now, today. 

Listen, get a coach. Get one who you know can help you, and get one who you vibe with. 

I’m here to help and if you want my help you can get it here… 

We can do this privately 1 on 1:

or

You can join a group of likeminded spiritual bad-asses like yourself in LoveLeadersAcademy

Talk soon, 

JeeJee

What stops most relationship and sex coaches from taking action?

 

Love-Leaders-Academy-fear-of-failure

[Reprint from 6/19/13]

What do you think stops most relationship and sex coaches from taking action?  

It’s something that you’ll come across a lot with your own clients.  It’s F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) 

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Here are of few of the fear culprits:

- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of spending time and money marketing to people who aren’t an energetic match for you and who don’t step up and invest in you
- Fear that you’re not a good coach
- Fear that you’re not worth the money you’re charging for 
  your time
- And the biggie, Fear of failure

We all have limiting beliefs about ourselves that sabotage our success, and until you deal with them head on your business is going to struggle.

So, let’s deal with some of those fears:

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

The reason that most people get scared about running their own coaching business is they’ve never done it before.  There’s so much to learn.  And while many coach training organizations teach you how to be a good coach, they don’t all show you how to make a LIVING as a coach. They don’t show you the Sales & Marketing side of coaching. (Side note: I do not believe that you need a training organizations credentials to become a great or credible coach). But if you do, that’s fine, do what feels good to you.

FEAR OF SPENDING TIME AND MONEY MARKETING TO PEOPLE WHO AREN’T AN ENERGETIC MATCH FOR YOU

If you’re not sure what you’re doing, it’s easy to make mistakes and spend money on Marketing that simply doesn’t work.  If you understand the psychology/energetics of selling and apply some simple principles, you can make your marketing message 100 times more effective!  What would that be worth to you?

FEAR THAT YOU’RE NOT A GOOD COACH

The fact is, you get better and better the more clients you have. Repetition is the mother of skill. Practice makes us all better. You learn from experience and your confidence grows. But if you’re struggling to get clients, it’s a bit of the old “which comes first, the chicken or the egg” issue. Do you wait till you’re confident or do you begin where you are? Guess what, you’re clients don’t need you to be perfect, we all have our baggage. But we don’t have to let that baggage hold us back from success. What you do today may not be what you’re doing some time down the road, but why wait for adventure to find you before you make a decision to move forward with what what you want now? When you can start the adventure now with a mentor who will not buy into your old stories and who will always hold you as powerful, you’re confidence will grow quickly and you’ll take quantum leaps in your business. 

FEAR THAT YOU”RE NOT WORTH THE MONEY YOU’RE CHARGING FOR YOUR GIFTS

This is one of the big fears that stop many relationship & sex coaches, healers and practitioners in their tracks. They constantly think thoughts like “people won’t pay for that,” or “I don’t think what I have to offer is worth that” or “my clients will be offended if I raise my prices.” There’s always some fear that crops up when it comes to money. The subject of money has a definitely emotional charge for many. But money is just energy. And as with all other relationships you have in your life, you have one with money whether you know it or not. The energy we hold around any relationship shapes it. So the key here is upgrading your internal worth, not worrying that others can’t afford your gifts & offerings. When you see the value of the transformation you provide and are able to communicate that effectively to your ideal peeps they will step up and invest in themselves through you.

And Finally, FEAR OF FAILURE

This is something that only you have control over.  I can show you what to do, but you must take action. And I mean internal & external action.  You know that you get what you focus on.  If you believe in the power of the universe, Spirit, law of attraction, or even the power of prayer to grant you what you ask for, you’ll know that the more you focus on not having clients, not having enough money coming in or looking stupid in front of your family and friends, you’ll get exactly that. You can’t shake this universal law. So you might as well be deliberate about what you really want to achieve. You need to upgrade yourself internally and when you do that you’ll more confidently take the external inspired actions you need to take.

So, are you ready to take the leap and make your breakthrough? Click here if you’re a relationship or sex coach, healer or practitioner who’s ready to learn the inner and outer secrets to creating generous income FAST and share your Bad-Ass gifts with the perfect peeps you’re meant to serve, even if you’re new or don’t have a big list.

Allow yourself to finally go for what you want and be Bad-Ass!

5 Ways You Help Clients Even When You Think “I’m not Perfect Yet”

JeeJeeSaafir.com-Im-Not-Perfect

One of the most common concerns I hear from relationship & sex coaches is “How can I get clients and help others transform their lives when I haven’t cleaned up my own baggage yet? How can I help when I’m not perfect?”

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I think virtually everyone who has ever started their own business to help people have this concern in the beginning and often when their reaching for a new level of success.

They think I’m not perfect in this area, I still have my ups and downs, “who the hell am I?”

Deep inside, you know you can help clients, but this fear keeps slowing you down…

News flash… The only people who have no more challenges are dead. I still have challenges in all areas of my life from time to time… relationships, health, business, etc. It’s the nature of the game, you reach for your next level of success in any of those areas and you experience contrast. It comes with the territory and it’s NOT a bad thing.

It’s those same challenges that when I move through them I’m even more brilliant, knowledgeable, intuitive and empowered and better for my clients because of it.

If I waited till I was “perfect” and I had all my shit cleaned up I wouldn’t have helped the people I’ve helped along the way and had the kinds of relationships I now thoroughly enjoy today.

I win when I see that my challenges are gifts. They make us better, period!

I’ll bet these two things are already true for you:

  • You’re a few steps ahead of your clients
  • You’re committed to growing yourself, RIGHT! YES!

I know these things about you. You realize that when you change all things change so you continue to work on yourself.

The old “I’m not perfect, so how can I help anybody?” thing is just another sneaky way your inner gremlin tries to trick you into holding back your gifts. We can put that gremlin in time out whenever we need to. There’s someone out there who needs you, right now, just as you are!

Better than trying to aim your arrow and then fire it to hit your target. Fire that arrow and then course correct along the way. You need not be perfect.

If you’ve been caught up in feeling like a fraud, it’s time to reorient your mind. Let me convince you that you’re an asset to clients even though you’re not “perfect.”

Here’s 5 Ways You Help Clients Even When You Think “I’m Not Perfect Yet”

#1 You show them what’s possible.

People resist change. It can feel scary for someone to step up and change their life because it means they may feel uncomfortable at times. They’re thinking to themselves “Can I trust myself to do this? Is it really possible for me?” “Will I fall back into my old ways again?”

Your clients want you to show them what’s possible and because you’re a few steps ahead of them, you’re doing just that… when you’re boldly marketing yourself, of course.

#2 You’re ahead of the game.

Back in the day, if you’ve heard my story, I was a relationship coach helping single women find quality guys to date or mate. And even though my relationship wasn’t without it’s challenges, I still knew more about navigating relationships and attracting good quality men than my clients did.

I was still able to give great value and guidance to help them move more confidently along their path.

They didn’t give a crap that I had challenges. They liked that about me, it kept me “real” to them. But I was still ahead of the game because I could reach back with what I had already learned and implemented in my own life and pull them forward.

#3 You’re giving them a space to grow.

Creating a program for your peeps is one of the most valuable ways you can offer your services. With a program, you’re creating a space for them to grow.

We all need that space to feel supported in really creating transformation and lasting change for ourselves. Your clients don’t have that! That’s why they’ve been spinning their wheels.

You can give them that loving, non-judgmental space to be seen and supported right NOW, no matter how much experience you have. It’s often a gift that many spiritual women are just naturally good at anyway.

When you create that loving space of support you’ll love the confidence you get as you watch them blowing your mind with great results.

#4 They get to be in your energy… the energy of your personal attention, time and support.

One of the most important things YOU have to offer that the “mega-gurus” don’t is your personal attention.

I LOVE having personal attention from my mentors. You can go really deep with your clients and that’s what more and more of them are looking for.

When you work with clients privately you offer them tremendous value and personal support. It’s something they don’t get when they’re in a group or a self-guided program, even from the best mentors in the industry.

Don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to others because your one-on-one support is priceless, believe me!

#5 They’re getting accountability!

One of the #1 things clients are investing in when they hire you is their own commitment. They’re aware that if they could’ve done it on their own by now they would’ve.

They are more than ready to finally get it done! And you and I both know that change won’t happen without accountability.

Just by lovingly but firmly holding them accountable to what they say the want and will do (and NOT buying into their old stories that are keeping them stuck) you bring TREMENDOUS value to the relationship.

Staying stuck because you think you’re “not perfect yet” is doing a disservice to you and them. No one transforms, you don’t grow and make money and they don’t get the help their seeking.

Everyone started with no clients. The way you walk your talk and avoid feeling like a fraud is NOT by trying to be perfect but by continuing to be upon your own path and showing up, and doing the work for yourself and your clients. Putting yourself out there creates huge transformation for you. And when you grow so does your business.

How can you start today?

Want to learn more about how to package up your services into juicy irresistible programs your ideal clients really want? Love Leaders Academy gives you everything you need to create lucrative, transformational programs that make you stand out from the crowd.

Be on this call “The secret sauce to getting the BEST clients – How to find your next 3 clients who will eagerly pay you more, love you for your work and tell their friends” There’s also some extra goodies in there when you sign up for this call. Click here now. It starts TOMORROW!

OR join our tribe by subscribing to our list below and stay tuned for an upcoming email this week with all the det’s about this powerful mentorship & mastermind program Love Leaders Academy starting August 5th.

4 Ways Relationship & Sex Coaches Can Love Marketing from Now On

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As coaches we really want to be “of service” to the world and make a difference in people’s lives. But if you really want to make an impact on the world in a big way then there’s something you must look at in a new way – Marketing! But NOT because it can help you get more clients. Au contraire mon frère ( a little French to keep you on your toes… it means “on the contrary my friend).”

Let me explain…

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See most relationship and sex coaches don’t enjoy marketing.  They feel like marketing is this necessary evil and I suppose I can see how they come to that conclusion. For many marketing could be likened to a dirty diaper. When baby goes boom boom in their diaper, no one jumps for joy at the chance to change it, but everyone wants a happy, healthy, “no rash on the ass” baby, right?

Well sometimes marketing can feel the same, as if it’s something you don’t want to do but to have a happy, healthy baby (business) you’ve got to do it.

But I would venture that you can change your mind about marketing and shift your thinking about it so that you can make it more fun and far more effective.

As a coach, your job is to “facilitate growth and change.” You help transform lives. What you may not realize is that marketing materials can facilitate growth and change in and of themselves.

Marketing is actually your vehicle for getting your transformation out there. Not only can your marketing materials help people, but in fact they can coach people.

As a transformational coach you should be looking at marketing as:

  1. Marketing is teaching
  2. Marketing is coaching
  3. Marketing is loving
  4. Marketing is fun because it can be and outlet for your creativity

Thinking about it in this way helps keep your marketing authentic, more fun and more effective.

Now let’s dig deeper with 4 quick shifts to the way you think about marketing so not only is it transformative but also helps generate sales and revenue

1)      Start creating your marketing materials to “serve” instead of “sell.” It goes without saying that you want to get results from all the work you put in, but the more you can focus on creating marketing that creates value, the better you’ll feel about marketing. And the better you feel about it, the more you’ll do it! You’ll be excited to share what you know!

2)      To be a great coach, you need to have an energetic connection with your clients. To be great at marketing you also need to have that energetic connection. The best way to facilitate that connection is to understand your clients in the deepest way. Make them feel like you “get” them by connecting with their heads and hearts in your marketing communication. Speak to their secret desires, pains, struggles, and dreams. Everyone wants to feel like someone “gets” them and understands them, and if you can do that you’ll create a deep and lasting bond.

3)      Really good coaching is about getting clients in ACTION. Focus on creating marketing materials that get people into action. Part of that action may very well be to hire you as their coach, take your course, buy your product or have a discovery session with you. And part of the action might be to do something different, or in a different way or to finally get off their ass and actually just “go for it.”

 4)      Know that when your marketing efforts inspire people to buy your products or services, the people who buy are going to WIN! See, if you don’t market and sell no one transforms. You don’t make money and they don’t get the transformation they came to get. So if you’ve ever felt uneasy about selling your services, a big part of the reason is probably because you’re overlooking how much of an impact you’ll have on your client. What you do is valuable and when they buy, they win and so do you!

The bottom line is that, marketing done well adds value and coaches the group of people you want to serve.

So get on with it, your peeps await!

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