Most of us have a tug-of-war type of relationship with money.
We think it’s completely out of our control and that there are forces outside of ourselves that call all the shots.
We have it tied up with our businesses.
We have it tied up with our jobs – jobs that, for the most part we can’t stand and basically resent.
So it probably goes without saying that thoughts like these do not make for a really great relationship.
Myth #2 in this 3-part series of money beliefs you should stop f*ing believing in now is that you have to work your ass off to get it. If you didn’t get a chance to read about Myth #1 click here to check it out.
When I was working on my undergrad degree after a long period off to be a mommy, I was talking to my mother telling her of my plans for the final year ahead.
To which she told me that she didn’t think that I could raise my son, carry a full course load, be a research assistant, and have a research internship on the side.
It was a lot, but all I heard was “you can’t do it.”
Admittedly I’d felt inferior in my mothers eyes for a very long time and couldn’t figure out why.
Today I do know exactly why… but we’ll leave that for another time.
Bless my mom, we have a pretty good relationship today but back then our relationship was a bitch.
So… what do you do when someone tells you that you can’t do something?
You set out to prove just how wrong they are, right? Right.
I bussed my ass in school.
I got straight A’s, I got scholarships, grants & fellowships and did my best as a single mom.
But all mind you… to the detriment of one very important thing… my happiness.
I sacrificed my happiness because I had to prove myself, and not just to my mother but to everyone who had their eyes on me. I had to prove that I was worthy.
Worthy of their respect and praise.
I connected my achievements with my worthiness because it seemed that that’s how the world worked.
I mean teachers assign grades every day that say you’re work is worth an “A” or your work is worth an “F.”
And if your work is worth an “F,” they’re not just saying “oh maybe she’s brilliant in other ways,” no they’re often saying “something is wrong with this one.”
And it’s the same thing we do with money.
You push and buss your ass because the world says that if you will just fill your bucket with blood, sweat and tears you’ll prove your worthiness to the world, command our respect, and eventually gain your reward.
But how many of you are breaking your necks unhappily working hard in business or your job just to eek by.
And still you put in even more hours just trying to stay ahead of the game (or so you think).
Why are you not seeing the reward? Doesn’t hard work equal more money?
What it comes down to is this…
Any action taken from a place of LACK is always going to be counterproductive and perpetuate more feelings of lack which in turn creates more lackful experiences in your life.
You can’t satisfy that nagging feeling of “not having enough” simply by working harder.
The results you’re seeing is about the vibration of “not having enough” that you’re constantly emitting.
It’s about the gap between what you want and your habit of thought about having it.
The good news is you can turn it all around. Just take your time.
If you’ll start with how you want to FEEL or BE (before you do anything) and you let that inspiration to DO come from that place of alignment, then not only will you KNOW that you are worthy and that there’s nothing to prove to ANYONE, you will actually enjoy the things you DO, infuse that energy into your work and soon enjoy the rewards of those actions.
This isn’t about never working “hard,” because the things that you DO can enhance your state of being.
You have to keep in mind however, that what seems like “hard work” to some, may be “effortless” to others. It’s all perception.
But you always want to set an intention to do your “work” from a place of feeling good or from a place of feeling confident, or from a place of feeling like you’re being of service, or sometimes even from a place of “I don’t give a fuck, this is what I want to do in this moment, this is how I wanna do it, and I don’t care what anybody else is gonna think,” then you come from a place of power and the things you want must make their way into your world.
Stop looking outside of yourself to your job or your business or other people as the source of your good or your money.
They are not the Source. You are the Source. You are connected to the Source. They are simply channels.
Be so f*ing good to yourself that life can’t help but be so f*ing good to you.
I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before… A belief is simply a thought you keep thinking over and over and over. That’s it, plain and simple and the great thing is that this is something you have control over. You have the freedom to think ANYTHING you choose… ANYTHING!
You have the ability to activate a new belief and thus change the story that is your life. You can edit your own movie NOW!
It’s time to question some beliefs about one of the biggest areas so many smart, bad-ass, spiritually minded coaches struggle with… money!
There are 3 common myths about money that I want to bust in this 3-part series.
The choice of whether you choose to start believing differently will be up to you. But for now just suspend your belief in what you thought was true for a little while. You can return to your misery any time you want, but just gimme a few minutes here, ok?
I want to jump in with one of the biggest myths spiritually minded entrepreneurs succumb to when building their business… and it goes like this…
Myth #1: It’s wrong to charge for the talents I’ve gotten from Spirit/God/the Divine (whatever resonates)…
Here’s the thing… ALL your talents are from spirit. You’re a SPIRITUAL being having a physical experience. You’re more “Spirit/Energy” than flesh, blood and bone. All of your talents are Spiritual. Even if your talent is putting both your legs behind your head and well…
Look, why do we think it’s perfectly fine for doctors, attorneys, architects and the like to make good money for what they do but not for a “spiritual” person? Why do we deem what they do far more important than the talent we have?
Who in the fuck said it was spiritual and virtuous to struggle all the damn time? Who the fuck shared that fucking mental virus with the world. That shit DID NOT come from God/the Universe/Spirit or any such place! But I won’t get into that discussion in this post.
If we’re being honest with ourselves the real reason we set upon our “spiritual path” or go to church or seek for the answers to why we’re here and how to make sense of our lives is because we want the fucking struggle to end!
We want to finally find relief from the struggles we’re experiencing in our health, relationships, finances, etc. And we want to feel on purpose instead of flailing around like a fart in a stiff wind. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting the struggle to end or the methods you’ve been using up until now to do it, but I’ve got to tell ya…
The answers to the end of struggle aren’t actually out “there.” We are “truth” creators, we are writing the script of our lives and starring in the movie NOW… every frickin’ moment we’re thinking and feeling. And every time we continue to look “out there” we meet with resistance. The savior ain’t out there, “it’s” right where you are NOW!
It’s time to do away with this myth.
Money is simply energy. Don’t give it super powers. When you look to it as the source of your salvation you block the flow of it coming to you in the myriad forms of abundance that it comes.
There are so many of you who have bleeding hearts, who want to see that the “less fortunate” have what they need. And if you have to sacrifice by just getting by you’ll do it, because at least you can rest with the peace of mind that you’re changing lives, right? Well it’s really hard to rest when you’re up worrying all night about how to make more money and get more clients and change your own life.
And further, here’s the thing about wanting to see that the “less fortunate” (or people who can’t afford you) have what they need.
#1 When you see others as less fortunate you disempower them. You can’t hold others as powerful if you’re seeing them as weak and helpless. You don’t uplift them from your place of “seeing” them in lack. Not only do you disempower them, you reinforce feelings of lack within yourself and now you must experience more of it in your own life, that’s how the Law of Attraction works.
These people aren’t helpless or weak. The same power that is within you is powerfully coursing through their veins too. You must see them as powerful. This goes for whether you’re makin’ money in your biz or not!
Power coaching tip!
Your clients and potential clients are a source of infinite supply just like YOU. You must create a space for them to rise into that by holding them as powerful. ALWAYS hold clients and potential clients as powerful!!!
#2 If you’re not pulling in enough income for yourself first because you’re afraid to charge more or you’re letting people pay at discounted prices all the time, or don’t even like talking about money… you’re going to continue to struggle and end up resenting your clients because you’re not being paid well for your work.
You could be giving your all to your clients but when you’re done with those sessions and you look at your own life and you see that you didn’t fasten your own life preserver BEFORE you helped them, that fleeting good feeling of satisfaction is going to drown right along with you.
It is wonderful to be able to make a contribution in the lives of others, but it’s even better when you’re not scrambling to meet your own needs, right? You are so much more creative and powerful when you’re not fucking worried about money all the time.
Am I right or am I right?
We’ll bust another myth in our next post. In the meantime read this article again and decide whether you’re done being buffeted about like a cork on a choppy sea or not. I’ll help you float more peacefully downstream: Click here.
If you enjoyed this article, please like and share with those whom you think might benefit from this information.
In a recent survey I sent out to my delicious tribe of peeps I received responses with a very common theme. That theme… continuously attracting people who don’t have the money to work with you, attracting less than ideal clients/potential clients, and not having a steady stream of clients, let alone the kind you actually LOVE working with.
The prevailing feeling I got from reflecting on their responses was that they felt like there was something either within them or outside of them blocking their desires.
Here’s what I told them in my latest newsletter (which you can sign up for by claiming the free goodie in the upper right hand corner of this page):
“I want you to know right from the start of this article, there’s a part of you that’s never been damaged so it doesn’t need to be fixed or healed. It is already whole & complete and can’t be improved upon.
Most of your efforts to “get,” achieve, attract & manifest are the very resistance(s) that are preventing your good from unfolding in your life.
Underneath your attempts to get more and attract more are the beliefs that you’re lacking, that you’re broken or that something is missing. So guess what you continue to manifest… more of “not having.” More of “not enough-ness.”
I’ve seen many trying to do all the processes in the world to attract and manifest but then you’re on the verge of losing everything. And it’s painful I know, I’ve been there. And it hurts most of all because you’re so brilliant, have great expertise, you’re spiritual, smart, have a great personality, you think positively, and you take action (or at least you try to), right?
But here’s the thing… Whenever you make anything outside of yourself the Source of anything (your safety, security, support…) the Universe is set up to disappoint you. As long as you think that something outside of you is your Source (i.e., your money, your bank account, your job, your business, your clients, your social media followers, your mate, whatever) you have to give your power away.
You have to start trying to control conditions. You have to start hustling, conforming and adapting and being other than who you really are. You’re no longer standing in YOUR truth.
Even if you willed yourself into creating a business full of clients paying you great money, you still end up just broke at a higher level of income.
Even if you created/manifested a brand new fabulous car, you still find yourself unable to keep up with the car note, insurance and maintenance.
Even if you created a new relationship, you still find yourself having the same damn arguments and problems over and over.
The problem… you’ve tried to change the world but you’re consciousness is still the same. They say “wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” It’s completely true.
Life is consciousness. Life is lived through you and as you. Everything you need in your life is already here. You are already it!
Financial abundance is an emotional journey plain and simple. No-one and nothing can add anything to you and no-one can take it away, because YOU are the Source of your good. You are not separate from Source, God, Spirit, the Divine, the Universe (whatever you identify with), you are connected and ARE Source. It’s what they mean when they say “I AM.”
This is about expanding your “having” vibration… your “having” consciousness. Whatever is supposedly “missing” in your life is what you’re not giving. It’s what you’re not giving vibrationally, what you’re not activating, what you’re not radiating, what you’re not circulating from within.
What if you looked at your bank statement and whether it said you had a little or a lot you felt and knew that you were just as prosperous and wealthy? That state of being would produce a fruit after it’s own kind. That’s the state of “I am” and “I have” that you can cultivate.
It’s an inner feeling that you have & “have abundantly.” And then you allow your thoughts, prayers, words and actions to come from this place of having & of wholeness rather than thinking, praying, wishing, affirming, talking and doing to “get” something which comes from a consciousness of not having.
Now, don’t misunderstand when I say no-one and no-thing outside of you is your Source. I want to be clear. Even though things may come to you through people, your business, your job, these things in and of themselves are not your Source. They are merely the channels through which your good comes. But when you hold on rigidly to them as being your only options for abundance, you shut down the myriad of avenues through which Source can bring you your good. You don’t make things happen, they happen through you!
Life’s not holding anything back from us, we are holding ourselves back from life.
Over the next few articles we’re going to be busting myths about money and abundance as we move into some brand new programs and offerings you’re going to love!
Imagine being able to “generate” everything you need, no matter where you’ve come from, what you’ve been through, or what your current circumstances might look like.
Sound good to you? I thought so too. I’ll show you how…
That’s what a friend of my mothers said while we were all out to lunch celebrating my mothers 25 years of service in her career. I had told my mothers friends what I do for a living and mentioned that I was launching a program soon on how to sell your services. I explained that many entrepreneurs view sales as a dirty word and as something they don’t actually realize they do in their businesses.
The friend in question was a retiree and had started a direct sales business on the side to make extra income. She said that she didn’t like to sell because she felt like she was being pushy and annoying people. She went on to say “there are just certain people who can do it and I’m just not made for it.” She said it so matter-a-factly as if that’s just the way sales is. I didn’t knock her for her perception. It’s one of the most common sticking points for entrepreneurs. Believe me I’ve been there.
The truth is that selling is not just for some people. When you run a business there are no two ways about it either you offer services and get paid for them or you don’t have a business, period. Offering your services and being paid for them is SELLING and it is absolutely a learnable skill just like anything else.
When you don’t share what you do with the intention of getting your transformation out there and being profitable, you do you and your potential clients a disservice. No one wins. You want to be doing what you love and have your financial needs met, right?
Then we’ve got to kill the noise on your fear of SELLING.
SELLING does not have to be a dirty word. In fact SELLING can be sexy! Especially when you change your mind about what selling is really about and create enticing heartfelt offers your potential clients truly want.
I’ll be teaching my peeps exactly how to do this in my upcoming course Sexy Soulful Selling. Get all the det’s by clicking here…
In fact, click here and get a taste of what I’ll be teaching in this free training audio: Sexy Soulful Selling: Your Gateway To Financial Orgasm!
Remember, selling isn’t something you do TO a person, it’s something you do FOR them.
I love you, and I sell to you because of it!
I am sharing this because many of us start
our day without minding something
very important and then we wonder why
our day starts off unfavorably and just gets
Well you no longer have to guess why.
Because you are completely responsible,
and you have complete control over these
three important factors… your thoughts, words
These things cause the vibration that you
live in and attract back to you all manner of
circumstances, people and events.
You’re picky about the clothes you wear, the
car you drive, where you live, and the food you
eat but you’re not picky about the thoughts
So this my friend is just a reminder of your
power to create your life and that includes
everything going on in your business.
Without further adieu here it is…
THE TONGUE CAN BE YOUR WORST ENEMY!
Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have
power to create conditions in your life. What you
speak about, you can bring about.
If you keep saying you can’t stand your job,
you might lose your job.
If you keep saying you can’t stand your body,
your body can become sick.
If you keep saying you can’t stand your car,
your car could be stolen or just stop operating.
If you keep saying you’re broke, guess what?
You’ll always be broke.
If you keep saying you can’t trust a man or trust
a woman, you will always find someone in your
life to hurt and betray you.
If you keep saying you can’t find a job, you will
If you keep saying you can’t find someone to
love you or believe in you, your very thought
will attract more experiences to confirm your
If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in
a relationship then you might end up with it.
Turn your thoughts and conversations around
to be more positive and power packed with faith,
hope, love and action.
Don’t be afraid to believe that you can have what
you want and deserve.
Watch your Thoughts, they become words.
Watch your Words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.
The minute you settle for less than you deserve,
you get even less than you settle for.
Thought I would share this with you. “In the search
for me, I discovered truth. In the search for truth,
I discovered love. In the search for love, I
discovered God. And in God, I have found everything…”
Begin this day right, remember how powerful
you are. Watch your thoughts and words they
become your life.
Create on purpose…
I remember such a moment years ago. It was about two months after I’d graduated from college. I was waiting for my very 1st child support check to come because all my stipends from school had finally dried up and I had no job.
I had a drop of gas left in the car. I had taken my son to school that morning and given him my last $5 to go on a field trip that day. There was only enough gas to go back to the school to pick him up and not enough to get us home. And what the hell were we gonna eat… I had no money.
I called the automated line to hear how much I would be receiving from child support that day. The message I heard made my heart sink because it wasn’t enough to get us through the week.
I called my son’s father in a rage knowing that it had to be his fault. He probably hadn’t made his payment, it was something I’d never put past him at the time.
I was angry. He’d told me that he’d made his payment, but I couldn’t believe him, he had a loooonnnnng history of lying to me about everything. I thought “how could he do this to our son… again.” Then I thought, “Why did I expect things to be different?” I hung up the phone and I cried.
There were a few hours left before I had to go pick my son up from school. I didn’t know what to do.
I had been studying an old Tony Robbins course I’d borrowed from my mother a few weeks earlier. Between job searches I began to study success, spirituality and had started meditating. I had been doing every single exercise he had in that program with a commitment I’d never felt before.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I got out my journal that day, which was aptly titled “The Journey of My Success,” and I turned to the page which read “5 problem solving questions.”
The picture above is the exact page from that journal and all that other crap hanging out is some of the best stuff I’ve ever written down in my life to help me along my journey.
But back to the story…
I went through each question writing down my answers. Here are the questions:
Something shifted in me at that moment and even though I still didn’t know what to do I felt a sense of trust and ease.
I got up from my chair knowing that I didn’t have any gas to drive anywhere and I walked all the way to the college library. It was maybe a 10 minute walk. It was a gorgeous, warm sunny day and as I walked I just appreciated the day and my life. After I spent some time there it was time to head home to get the car so I could go pick my son up from school.
Still unsure of what to do and admittedly a twinge worried, I headed back just trusting that things would work out. Faith was all I had.
I got back to our apartment and checked the mailbox and there in that box were two child support checks!! The automated system had only registered one of them. I was amazed and utterly relieved.
I went to put gas in the car and pick my son up from school. He was happy to see me as usual and totally oblivious to our situation. He talked on about his field trip and we had a fabulous day together. It warmed my heart to know that we were taken care of.
But the goodness doesn’t end there… I got a job that same month. A job which afforded me time in my work day to still read and work on my success practices. I had a spacious desk and a huge window with plenty of sunshine pouring in. And even though I wasn’t returning to school that fall to join the Masters in Family Therapy program I was accepted into, I’d received “out of the blue,” a $5000 scholarship I hadn’t even applied for from the Mayor of Detroit for being an exemplary student. Holy shit…
We’ve all got our stories, we’ve all had our dramas, and our real life struggles. I’ve got a shitload of stories that luckily I can now look back on and supremely appreciate and or laugh at til’ it hurts.
There are probably still going to be times when you don’t know if things are going to work out, there may still be times when you’re scared, there may still be times when you want to crawl into a hole and not come out until things are better, but I’ll tell you those things can become few and far between because… you’re never, ever alone.
There is the human part of you, but there is also the bigger spiritual part of you. You are a spiritual being having a human experience and when you trust that you’re taken care of, I mean really trust… I promise you, you will be.
Don’t ask questions like, Why isn’t anything working? or What’s wrong with me? Those questions dis-empower you.
Don’t bank all your faith on what you hope others are gonna do for you. Put you’re faith in the indwelling power of spirit that is within you. The power that brings great things to you “through” other people. Go directly to the source and you’ll never fail. Ask empowering questions and watch as you’re guided right to the answers. Get the hell outta your own way and let the magic happen…
I love you,
[Repost from 8/13/13]
Maybe you’ve heard and maybe you haven’t (I certainly didn’t when I had my shingle out as a relationship coach), that the #1 way to get clients is to have “discovery sessions.” It goes by many names in the coaching industry… intro sessions, sample sessions, free sessions, “get to know you sessions,” etc.
If you don’t have enough coaching clients part of the reason is because you’re not getting enough people to have discovery sessions. How many clients you have is mostly determined by 3 things:
Seriously, if you can improve any of these areas your coaching business will definitely grow, and if you can get all three poppin’ woohoo your business is going to soar!
So let’s get to the juicy part:
Here are 5 ways to start having a lot more discovery sessions and a lot more clients.
1. Use your newsletter. If you don’t have one, they’re pretty easy to get set up. You can use Constant Contact (they have a free 60 day trial), Aweber (only $1 to start), and even Wysija (a wordpress plugin that allows you to send newsletters right from inside your own wordpress blog). There are many other options but these are a few of the most commonly used.
And here’s something the guru’s don’t tell you. You don’t have to have a “Newsletter.” You can send an informative email (consistently) with links to your website, blog, and social media outlets for example. Newsletters do have a professional feel, but what I’m attracted to isn’t necessarily the look of the newsletter as I am in the content that is being shared. If the content is great and I can benefit from it I don’t give a crap what the newsletter looks like. Admittedly I find that it’s the male species who can just reel me in with a plain old content rich email. I find that women do like the beauty of a newsletter. Do what feels good to you.
So here’s whatcha’ do… Send out an offer for a free session to your newsletter list. Maybe you’d give it a name like “Relationship Rehab Session” or “Save My Sex Life Session.” And don’t make this mistake… Most coaches put their offer deep into their newsletter where only a few people will see it. And with almost everyone using their phones and tablets these days to check on EVERYTHING, you want to have your offer there so they can see it before they even have an opportunity to scroll down. Send out a single newsletter/email specifically about the discovery session you’re offering!
2. Grow your subscriber/newsletter list. This is where you’ll stay in contact with your potential peeps and can make your offers for a free session from time to time. Here’s a tip on where coaches go wrong. They don’t choose a target audience/niche. They’re not tuned into their SOUL clients. Granted when you’re first starting out in business it may take a little bit of time before you hone in on who you’d love to work with and that’s ok, you’ll find your way, but do it sooner than later.
When you’re fresh into dating you go through a few frogs before you kiss your prince(ss) charming, and along the way you develop a lot of preferences for the ideal mate(s) you want and would love to spend your time/life with. So it goes with your clients, you do have preferences and as you get clearer on them you’ll realize the benefits, ie., you’ll do your best work, marketing will become easier, you’re message will become clearer and you’ll love your clients and they’ll love you.
When you don’t get clear you end up writing about a bunch of general stuff that can help anyone, but does that capture the hearts and minds of people the way one specific group will? The result… your message is diluted and few people will ever end up reading your emails/newsletters on a regular basis. It is what it is.
3. Build a case for WHY someone should spend their time and energy having a discovery session with you. Many coaches describe their free session in such a blah way: “I offer a free exploratory coaching session. If you would like to see if coaching is a fit for you, call blah, blah, blah, or email blah, blah, blah.
Just because something is FREE99 (as my mate likes to call it) doesn’t mean people will want it. Honestly people can act like they love free sh@$ all day long, but the truth is that they value things that are free far less than they value things that they actually spent their money on. So in turn “free sessions” need to be “sold.” Write up some COMPELLING (JUICY) reasons people should have a session with you and the real tangible benefits they’ll leave the session with.
4. Let people know that you want to work with them. When you rendezvous with people that you think would be great to work with, let them know “I’d like to coach you.” Many times they’ll be flattered. Compliment them by telling them why you’d like to work with them. “You know what, you have some really great energy and I’d like to watch you really get the love you deserve.” Or “I heard you tell your story and your passion just got me so inspired and I’d like to help you make your vision a reality.” Many people will be open to having a discovery session if it makes sense for them. So don’t forget to show them the value.
5. Go for the “easy yes” before you offer the free session. Many coaches don’t realize how uber-important these sessions are, but once they do they’re off and runnin’ offering sessions to everybody they meet at networking events. Don’t get me wrong this CAN be effective, however you miss out on connecting with and building a relationship that could later lead to a free session and hiring you. If telling someone you just met about your products and services is like trying to kiss someone you just met, then offering your session is like trying to hug someone you just met (even though for some strange reason people do want to hug me the first time we meet).
Instead you want offer a “Special Report (Ex. 7 Mistakes to Avoid Before You Get Into Your Next Relationship), Teleseminar, Audio Program, Video Tip(s) anything that is of extreme interest to the peeps you’re networking with. More people will jump at that offer and you’ll be able to stay in contact with them so you can send them your articles, blog posts, tips, newsletters, etc., and later offer your free session.
So get out there (no huggin’ and kissin’ just yet), give great value, get some discovery sessions going & you’ll most certainly start getting a lot more clients!
P.S. “Get More Clients” Sessions are available on a limited basis. Get your spot now. Your peeps are waiting for you. When you help people get what they want, you can’t help but be successful. Get your application here.
In my last article we talked about 2 of the 5 biggest mistakes that turn clients off. If you missed mistakes 1 and 2 you can click here to read that post. There are 3 more mistakes that are just as critical as the first two.
Let’s have a look see shall we…
Working with any and everybody.
I know this is a tough one for a lot of relationship and sex pros. I get it, as soulful entrepreneurs we’ve got talents and gifts coming out our hoo-has, and sometimes it’s hard to know which is the best passion to follow at any given time. We know we can help lots of people and we know that we could be really brilliant with what we have to share.
But when you’re trying to work with everybody your message gets diluted. Your signal is going out but it’s all over the place. It’s not tuned to your ideal clients, you don’t stand out from the crowd and/or hardly anyone’s picking up your signal because you’re so scattered.
Even if you were just a life coach in general, there are still clients who are ideal for you. But I don’t think you’d be very effective just by saying “I work with anyone 18-80, whether they’re blind, cripple and crazy.“
When you work with anybody and everybody and you’re not specific about those who are the best match for you, you run the risk of attracting a hodge podge of clients who might be demanding, needy, desperate, or (add annoying behavior here)… I won’t say they’d all be like that but if you don’t get specific you could bet you’d get your share of headache clients.
The problem is that there’s this underlying fear going on behind the scenes when you say “Oh, I work with anybody,” or “I don’t want to choose…” you’re actually expressing an energy of lack and limitation.
It’s about being afraid to leave people out & what’s really behind that fear is the fear of “what if no body shows up,” “what if I don’t get any clients.”
So when you have a process for getting clear on who your ideal client is you begin to attract those who are a match for you and you stop wasting your time with people who aren’t.
Now I’m not telling you to pick a niche that you have to stick with forever but you do need to make a decision on who you’d be the greatest service to right now and move forward with that…
It’s similar to dating. If you’re dating, you’re not going around trying to make every single person you date “the one.” You have preferences about the person (or persons… however you swing) you want to be with, so you need to have preferences about your clients too. You deserve to work with clients you enjoy. These are your SOUL clients. It’s no different from looking to attract your SOUL mate.
Keeping your fees low and undercharging. There’s a couple of reasons this is such a big mistake. Let’s dive in.
A. What do people associate higher fees with? Quality, right?
When you go to the movies, you have options: there’s the regular show, there’s 3D, there’s the IMAX experience, there’s 4D, some theaters have reclining seats, you can buy drinks and the whole nine. Sure it costs a little more but you’re paying for quality, you’re paying for a better experience, right? If you go to the dollar show there’s a different quality there. Nothing wrong with that but there’s a different crowd and a different quality.
B. Believe it or not, when you keep your fees low clients are going to doubt your abilities. They are questioning whether you can really help them get results.
C. The big reason keeping your fees low is a turnoff, is because when you do that you attract people with low commitment.When people are investing higher fees their level of commitment is very high. They show up in a different way, you show up in a different way. They actually do the work. You get to hold them accountable and you get to help them. You get to show them how to do things and coach them through whatever is happening. And none of that happens if people aren’t committed.
Discounting your expertise. A lot of coaches are afraid to be the expert they truly are. You’re afraid you don’t know enough, or you wonder “does anyone care about my experiences.”
People do care about your story & it’s what they care about most. This is one of the #1 credibility boosters that matter most to the clients who are willing to pay you. It’s your personal story.
Think of the mentors you’ve invested in, and if you haven’t I hope you will soon, cause believe me nobody makes it there alone. Even the people at the top, the millionaires, multi-millionaires and agents of change in this world have their own mentors and advisors and support, and they all have their stories. Your story tells your clients that you understand them. They want to know that you get them.
Don’t discount your expertise or the value you bring to the table. Years from now someone might be saying this about you: “Damn I’m glad (insert your name) did her thing and shared her expertise with me because she really helped change my life.”
Check in with yourself, are you making any of these mistakes?
Don’t beat up on yourself, you’re just a few tweaks away.
I’m here to help you right now. Send an email to email@example.com and let’s see if I’m a match to help you today.
And we don’t want that, because these mistakes are what keep you struggling to attract clients, kill your confidence and keep you from making the money you deserve.
Let’s jump right in so you can have clients turned on and eager to invest in you!
#1 You don’t really know what you’re offering.
Often coaches think they’re offering coaching or healing, or therapy, or whatever it is you do, but your clients are never buying your process.
When a person goes to the store and buys a pill for their headache, their not paying for a pill their paying for relief from their pain.
Clients are investing in a solution to a particular challenge. They’re not buying the plane, they’re buying the destination. And when you know exactly what they’re challenge is and what it’s really worth to them to solve that problem people will eagerly invest in you.
#2 Deciding on behalf of your client that they can’t afford it or that they will not pay for what you have.
I see it all the time. Often you’ll judge ahead of time before you’ve even had a conversation with your potential client that they probably can’t afford it. You’ll take the little information you know about them (if any) and you’ll say to yourself, “they probably can’t afford it.”
This is an especially sticky point with clients when they realize it’s a good idea to create their first high end program or raise their fees in their current program(s).
It can feel scary at first, and yes a lot of inner shit can surface like “Who am I to charge this much,” “Or I don’t know enough,” “Or I don’t have enough experience,” or “they’ll think I’m greedy,” and the list of self sabotaging thoughts goes on…
But the truth is that when someone wants a solution to a challenge really bad, you’ll be amazed at how they can come up with the money for what they want.
But lets look further because this mistake goes deeper…
Think about how you act when you are deciding to purchase something. How often are you thinking, “I can’t afford it?” Really, how often?
Your potential clients are literally making up all these excuses because these are the thoughts you’re constantly thinking in your OWN mind.
Plain and simple… it’s your own money mess and your money story.
These clients obviously find value in what you have otherwise they wouldn’t even be talking about it with you, but because you discount your own value and decide what someone else can do in advance, you shoot yourself in the foot.
You are an energetic walking business card. So whatever thoughts and feelings you have around clients being able to afford your services is exactly what shows up in your world. You cut off the possibility of receiving generous fees and for your clients to step into something amazing.
You DON’T make money decisions for other people.
You have no right to say what someone can and cannot afford, and when you ASSUME, what does that make… an ASS out of you and YOU! Ha, you thought I was gonna say ME. Me thinks not!
If you’re turning people away or not asking for the sale because you think they can’t afford you, even though you might be coming from a place of concern about their circumstances, and even though they’re begging to work with you, you may say no to them and then tomorrow they’ll go find someone else and pay them, and you’d better believe they will!
It’s always about the mindset when it comes to money. Your attitude about money is critical.
Money is nothing but an object. There is no power in money. There is only the power of your thought.
So when we cut ourselves down and we see things as limited whether it’s money, or ourselves or our talents, we shut the flow off. And it’s really good to get a handle on when you’re doing that to yourself, (and no, it’s not about beating yourself up or blaming yourself because that closes off the flow too), but to find out what triggered that and explore it.
Don’t put your money stuff on others.
Well be talking about mindset and money a lot over the coming months and how to turn things around. It’s the two topics that many clients think they’ve got handled until they realize they’re still not getting the results they want and can’t figure out what’s getting in their damn way.
In our next post you’ll learn the final 3 critical mistakes you may be making that turn clients off.
Til Next Time,
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You’ve no doubt heard this old saying. It’s an old adage that was often used to question the notion of why a man would marry a woman if he’s already getting the nookie and all the other amenities from her for free.
In a way the same could be said for getting a business coach.
Who really needs a business coach when you can get information on getting clients and making money for free?
It’s one of the many thoughts coaches think as they’re working to grow their businesses.
It is a legitimate question. Don’t get me wrong.
In this day and age anyone, anywhere can learn anything they want to learn by going to the bookstore, “google,” “youtube” and the other plethora’s of places to find what they’re looking for.
But let me use this opportunity to school you on something you may not realize about this industry.
A business coach does more than just provide you with important information. A coach is more than just an accountability buddy and motivator for you.
A good coach will help you break the self sabotage cycle that causes you to confidently speak to potential clients only to have you clam up when it’s time to ask for the sale.
A good coach will help you overcome your self limiting beliefs so that you break though all of the glass ceilings and barriers that are holding you back from your success.
A good coach won’t buy into your old stories and will teach you how to stop falling into the “trap of tomorrow”, where tomorrow never comes and you continue to get further and further from reaching your business goals.
And as much as our job is to help you uncover the wisdom and answers that are already within you, it’s also to keep it real with you about what not to do, and give you practical marketing and business advice when you find yourself wasting money on the next shiny object you think is the magic pill to your success.
And when you hit a wall and feel like quitting and giving up a good coach is gonna get you back in and right back on track, because that’s what we do.
See, a coach is more than just a resource for information on getting clients and making money. Hell, you’re right, you can get that info for free by spending ten minutes on Google…
…but what a good coach can do for you that you can’t find anywhere else is the help you need to identify your goals, a solid game plan to help you achieve those goals, hope and support when self-sabotage sets in, strength to stay the course even when the going gets tough, and the confidence to help you maintain your goals.
You know that everyone needs a good coach in order to play up a level or two.
So if your coaching business doesn’t have enough clients why aren’t you working with a coach who can show you how to create systems so that you can consistently get more clients into your business?
If you’re limiting yourself or sabotaging your success then why aren’t you working with a coach who can help you dump that old programming that’s keeping you stuck?
If you’re frustrated, burnt out, or are ready to give up on your dream of owning a successful relationship or sex coaching business, why aren’t you working with a coach to help you get to where you want to be?
Wouldn’t you tell someone who was frustrated with the results they were getting in their relationship or sex life to hire a coach like yourself?
So then what’s stopping you?
Why aren’t you taking your own advise?
Saying that you’ll do it down the line is only putting the responsibility of your success on your future self, when in reality the responsibility is yours to action on now, today.
Listen, get a coach. Get one who you know can help you, and get one who you vibe with.
I’m here to help and if you want my help you can get it here…
We can do this privately 1 on 1:
You can join a group of likeminded spiritual bad-asses like yourself in LoveLeadersAcademy.