If you’re going to be a relationship coach you have to have a great relationship.
If you’re going to be a business coach you have to have already succeeded in your own business.
If you’re going to help people lose weight you have to be slim and trim.
I know, I know… it makes logical sense, but it’s a lie.
I personally know of an overweight guy who sales personal training at a well-known gym.
Even I was shocked when I saw him.
I thought “wow, this gym hires anybody!”
But it turned out that he was actually selling personal training to people because he was showing them that he was on his own path to losing weight using the program(s) they sold.
He was using the training himself, and selling it!
Anyone who sees him knows that he isn’t at his ideal weight at this moment (not even close), his body doesn’t look like the photos of the lean fit people plastered all over the wall of the gym, but he is able to show people the value of what good diet and exercise habits can net you because he is “doing” it and losing weight.
I can’t imagine what he’s had to endure with people (probably his own coworkers and members of the gym) looking at him like “how the hell is he going to sell personal training when he’s fat?”
I can’t lie, I totally thought that to myself when I saw him.
But he’s probably going to be one of the most confident people on this planet when it’s all said and done.
And what a life changing testimonial he’s going to have for the people he helps in the future.
And as for the ones who doubted him along the way… well telling them to “kiss his fat ass” probably won’t be appropriate anymore.
He believes in himself. And someone believed in him enough to give him a try. He’s a powerful teacher if you ask me.
You too deserve to feel your greatness and enjoy powerful coaching confidence so that all your clients and potential future clients get value from your coaching.
Own your greatness, and realize that you’re ALREADY ENOUGH to support someone else on their journey.
Can you coach someone to achieve success you’ve never had? Of course you can! I have!
While I was behind on my bills, I was coaching people to make money in their businesses, and guess what! They did!
I even coached some of those same people to turn personal relationships in their lives around, to manifest resources, people and ideas that made a huge difference in their lives.
Will it make it easier for you to get clients if you’ve done it yourself? Yes, it’ll probably be a bit easier.
It’s certainly easier to pop wheelie’s when you’ve have some experience riding a bike.
But don’t let your lack of wheelie success in your business stop you from putting yourself out there and marketing yourself.
Of course you’ll continue to hone your craft as you go and get bigger and better along the way, but if you sit on the sidelines watching everybody else pop wheelie’s you’ll wait forever.
And no one transforms while you wait. Not you and not the people you’re meant to help.
Do you think the coaches who have the level of success you want just blinked their eyes one day and were successful? Hell no.
It happened because they continued to move forward.
If you think they never felt the fraud feeling you’re kidding yourself.
They’ve been there too.
And when they reach into new places in their business you can bet they probably still have an inkling of that feeling there too.
They’ve fallen off their bikes trying to pop bigger wheelie’s too.
But they pick themselves up, put their feet back on those pedals and keep pushin’.
Never discount the experience and expertise you’ve gained up to this point.
Right now there are millions of people all over this planet who would hire a coach right on the spot if there was one reaching out to them and marketing to them well.
There are people all over this planet who are having problems that they can’t solve on their own (or can’t solve fast enough).
Right now there are people all over this planet who have big dreams and goals who just aren’t able to get there on their own (or can’t get their fast enough).
These are the people who need you to be a great coach and a great marketer.
Stop trying to measure up and realize you are ENOUGH now.
Just think of the clients you’ll have in the future who’ll be telling someone else… “I’m so glad (insert your name) did her thing in her business because she made such a huge frickin’ difference in my life.
Put your feet on those pedals and push. People are waiting to be coached by YOU!
And if you need help getting the momentum going to really pop that bad-ass wheelie in your business I’m here.
In fact if you act quickly you can get one of the few spaces I hold each month for a 20 minute complimentary “Get More Clients” Breakthrough Session.
Simply click here to send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the answers to these questions:
Tell me about your business? What do you do, who are your ideal clients?
Where are you at in your business now and where do you want to be over the next 3, 6 and 12 months?
When it comes to offering your services, what are your pain-in-the-booty problems?
Tell me why now? What’s got you seeking support and why are you choosing lil’ ol’ me?
Send that email NOW to email@example.com!! Wheelie poppin’ awaits!
Ever had writers block?
Ever toiled over what the hell to write about? Felt like you’d already said it all or are starting to sound like everybody else?
Ever been torn between wanting to write about a certain topic from your heart and in the next moment worried about whether anyone would give a hot sh%t about it?
Couldn’t decide so you stayed stuck?
I’ll go first. As you may have noticed I haven’t written a damn thing for over a month. No newsletters to my subscribers and no blog posts. Yes I’ve sent emails here and there but nothing substantial.
I’ve been consistently writing for a few years now & then Phbbbbbtttttt… (brain fart!) WTF!
Granted, I’ve had a lot of irons in the fire lately so it’s felt like a bit of a chore to get back on track.
When I thought about writing and I actually sat down to do it (on more than a few occasions as of late) my mind went to “what the hell do I write about?”
All the best (worst) procrastinating excuses have been swimming around in my head, “I’m too tired,” “I’m too busy,” I’m overwhelmed, “I’m not inspired,” “what if no one even reads it,” “what if people unsubscribe from my list” “I need to see what others are writing about first…”
I have been off my game.
As Kim Possible woulda’ said back in the day “What’s the Sitch?”
There’s one main issue here and its name is, drum roll please… FEAR
Let me be even more transparent about why I’ve been overwhelmed and tired and how that FEAR
is was on the forefront of my world…
I’m in the final year of completing my Master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology and specializing in transformational coaching to deepen my coaching expertise.
If you don’t know what Transpersonal means, here’s a brief definition. “Transpersonal psychology focuses mainly on mind, expanded states of consciousness and human potential. Research into transpersonal states of consciousness provides new psychological theories on perception, self-identity and ways of knowing.”
If you ask me, it’s simply the practice of learning/remembering how to BE who you really are, in all your fantastic glory, authentically and unapologetically.
I am not at this school just to receive some letters behind my name, though that’s cool and all. I’m here to be immersed in this practice of being ME and this institution helps me to do that. Though there are many other avenues I could’ve taken to do this, I’ve found a community here of people that I utterly adore and would actually call “Soul-Mates.” And that my friends is “priceless.”
I’ve also been through a few shake ups over the last few months… relationship breakdowns, computers dying, flash drives blanking, car accidents, etc. Needless to say some extra money was needed for a bit of time and so I took on a job for a short time.
But now that I’ve come through the breakdown and am finally breaking through again I can’t stay away from YOU or my passion. I’ve got to write and share ME with those who are asking.
So now that I’m done with the back and forth over whether I should give you what you want, or give myself what I want in this post, I’ve killed two birds with one stone, and it feels mighty good.
It’s a keep it real moment and I love it. I know I’m not the only one who struggles from time to time with trying to put out great, authentic content people want to read.
So let’s briefly get back to “the Sitch…” FEAR
Turns out that my chosen spiritual discipline this year as I complete my Masters is that of “Embracing my Fears and letting them go!”
The fear of not knowing what to write all stemmed from those unhelpful thoughts that said “What if they don’t like it,” “What if they laugh at me,” “What if they judge me,” “what if I fail,” “What if I can’t be any more successful in this business as I’ve been,” and hell, “what if I really succeed wildly, then what, I’ll have to be more un-comfortable?” I can embrace it all and let it all go…
Thank you God I chose this school to do my “dirty” work. The dirty work of being my damn self. The self that knows that she is “Good” and doesn’t have to pretend for anyone. The self that knows she is supported, valuable and worthy. The self that does not have to cling to worry about “getting it wrong.” She can “get it wrong” and still move forward! The self that is not afraid to feel all of her real emotions (fear included), and knows that when she allows herself to feel them that then she can transform them and change her life immediately.
FEAR is now my friend. So what does that mean for you?
It means that in this moment I am publicly acknowledging that I will be bolder, bigger, and more ballsy than I’ve ever been before and you will benefit because you’ll be getting the best of me.
You’ll be seeing me, hearing me, and getting the best expertise I can give you to help you embrace your fears, make more money, grow your business and share the best of you with those who are here to learn/play/co-create with you.
I’ll be listening to you and myself more deeply. You’ll be getting the most authentic me I can possibly give you at any moment.
Know that everything I do is meant with the intention of love. With the intention to uplift. With the intention to leave you better and never worse than you were before you met me. With the intention that because you see me DO ME, that you have the absolute and utter freedom to give yourself the green light to DO YOU!!
(Looks like writer’s block ended and writer’s diarrhea took over! But I won’t apologize for the length of this post. Just excuse me while I wipe…)
In touch soon… xoxo
New Horizons Await,
I recently started getting personal training.
I work with a fitness coach/trainer about 3 times a week.
Now why would I get a trainer when I’ve been working out regularly on my own for over 20 years and I’m in pretty decent physical shape?
I’m turning 40 next year and apparently I’ve succumb to the age old story of metabolism slowing to a crawl, and it seems as if my “problem spots” could use a little more help than I can give them on my own. They seem extra stubborn these days (or is it me…)
I’ve been in a very comfortable state of just maintaining, making sure the muffin top doesn’t get out of control, staying flexible and making sure I am just strong and toned enough to get by.
But, when I thought about how my body & life could improve even more after having someone show me what to do on a regular basis (so I can stop thinking about it), give me some new insights, exercises, a personalized game plan, and some accountability, I couldn’t say no to my body any longer.
It wants to be faster, stronger, happier and healthier and who am I to stand in OUR way.
I could see in my minds eye a picture of my body in the best shape it’s probably ever been in with the exception of my early college years as a gym rat.
With a trainer there’s now an intensity to my workouts that really wasn’t there when I was doing it on my own watching YouTube workout videos, doing fitness DVD’s, or modeling other people I saw at the gym.
There’s now the accountability and consistency of holding to my workout & nutrition regimen that wasn’t there as much when I did it on my own. I can’t hide out when I have someone checkin’ in and seeing my progress or lack there of!
And there’s now some serious speed to the results I’m seeing because I’ve come out of my comfort zone, I’m trying new things, challenging my mind and body in ways I probably wouldn’t on my own, and my body is reflecting it quickly.
I’ve got definition, I’ve exchanged a little bit of body fat for lean muscle, my energy is steadily climbing, I’m eating better and at more proper intervals during my day, and I just feel better overall.
Is it a cake walk?
Nah, not so much…
But the speed, attention, inspiration & results I’ve been getting working with a trainer has been worth every moment that I’ve wanted to cuss them out (and sometimes I have) & give up. [Luckily they know I don't mean it].
There are times when I can’t keep going, but those times are few and far between and in our next session I’m always back in the game.
It’s certainly a challenge, but it’s a lifestyle change, and I love it! I love what’s happening to my body, I love when I feel my own power to “go hard,” I love my ever expanding confidence and my overall feeling of well being.
I feel like I’m adding years to my life and the value of that is simply priceless.
This isn’t some spiel about how you should go get a personal trainer even though I HIGHLY endorse that action…
The point is this, we can only go so far on our own, no matter what we’re doing.
Yes we’ve got spirit leading the way, but still no one gets there alone.
There are no self-made millionaires who actually made it there completely by themselves, period!
If you want to get where you’re going in business faster, get the personal attention you need, get the inspiration, expertise and accountability that keeps you on track and have that extra little push you need to get out of your comfort zone so you can be bigger & better, help more people & make more money, then it’s time to get yourself a coach.
Now’s the time…
I’m now accepting new 2015 private coaching clients. There are 5 spaces available.
Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been in the game a minute, if you’re still struggling to get off the ground or you’re tired of the feast and famine lifestyle then it’s time to uncover the solution. The Inner & Outer Soulution!
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your free 20 min. “2015 Fresh Start, Fast Results Discovery Session” to see how I can best serve you and if our vibe is right!
A year from now, don’t be wishing that you’d started today!
Happy Holidays from my heart to yours!
I’ve got a free gift for you.
No it’s not a marketing plan.
No it’s not the insider secrets to getting your next client.
No it’s not about how to rock 2015, and make more money in your business.
This gift is about YOU!
However… these things may come to pass because of this powerful practice!
This is above and beyond all those things.
What I’m sharing is one of the most powerfully potent processes I’ve used to get through relationship problems, financial issues,
health issues, and most importantly to get in tune with who I really am… and I want to share this special gift with you.
Get it here now. No opt-in. Completely free. Instantly download it now! Click Here
Have a fantabulous holiday season!
Talk to ya real soon!
I love you,
Feeling busy & productive but completely overwhelmed and at the end of the day results seem to show you really didn’t accomplish much?
I know the feeling…
Let’s turn that around.
In this video the talented Marie Forleo sits down with well known expert Dr. Ned Hallowell who helps people perform better, as they discuss tips on how to get back in control.
Dr. Ned says “…with modern life the great thing is you can do so much, but the problem is… you can do so much“
Lemme know what ya think!
1. Define & set clear goals. Establish your short-term, medium-term and “life-term” goals. Prioritize!
2. Avoid screen-sucking… You know you do it! It’s easy to get sucked into checking emails, social media, etc. Turn away!
3. Setting your default response to “Let me get back to you on that…” Stop overcommitting… Say nope to overwhelm!
4. Never worry alone. I would have a different take on this one but I get the intention. Who do you have in your life to turn to that will help you get solution focused and make a plan? Worrying can become toxic. Often you’ll find your worrying is pointless and unnecessary once you talk it through. You’re usually telling a “story” that’s not serving you. Have a good coach, colleague or friend to turn to?
5. Cultivate Lillies and Get Rid of Leeches. Which people or projects are truly worth spending time with and on? Who and what are your “lillies.” Even though there may be challenges or some effort needed on your part over the course of time, who and what are the people and projects that just feel worth it, and which one’s don’t? This goes for your personal and professional life.
You think you’re less powerful than you are. Stop pretending! You can get back on track. You’ve got this!
And if you don’t here’s help.
Your coaches request:
Get out of overwhelm, get prioritized, and gain control of every day distractions that keep you from the clients, income and impact you want to make. Learn exactly how in my free audio: 30 Minutes to More Clients. If you’ve listened before, listen again. There is no better time than NOW. Let’s get things in order and get back in control.
[Repost from July 2013]
Because when we’re not having fun or enjoying what we do it feels like drudgery. You don’t look forward to working with clients (and what kind of stinky energy do you think your sending with that kinda vibe goin’?). Do you know that whatever you write or record and share with others is infused with your energy. It doesn’t really matter what the words on the paper say, or what you’re saying in a video, it’s the energy that people are picking up on. You could have a crappy quality video or a half-ass written post or article, but if your energy is high with the intention of people finding benefit from what you’re sharing and especially if you’re doing it for fun or because it just feels good to you, that is the energy people will receive and that is good delicious, juicy energy.
You always want to keep that in mind whenever you create anything. Before you start, line up your energy, think and affirm what you want to happen or accomplish, and about how you want to feel.
For example, I could be creating a video. What do I want to accomplish? I want my viewer to enjoy it, be uplifted by it, find value in the information, or laugh, or feel empowered, or feel connected to me because they feel I get them. That’s my intention. And I want to feel good while I’m making the video because at the end of the day that’s the reason we want anything, because we think we will feel good in having it. So when you start with the end result (feeling good) you can’t help but get what you want. So I selfishly create videos and audios and written word because I want to feel good and share that with the world and profit!!! What about you?
Your Coaches Request: What can you create and infuse with your delicious energy to share with your ideal peeps… an article, video, audio, freebie, program, product. Get on with it.
Need help with infusing YOU into your marketing efforts, I got you. Send an email to email@example.com to schedule your “BEing the Irresistible Offer” Discovery Session to help you uncover the gaps you’re having in the energy and actions your taking in your marketing.
To be a real leader and be marketable as a coach it comes down to these 8 important things…
#1 Marketable Content
Create simple content that helps your clients and potential peeps understand how you can help them.
Speak to problems, benefits and results.
Meet your client where their mind is at.
Make sure to give people what they want to buy, not what YOU think they need.
#2 Exercises, templates, checklists and scripts
People love done-for-you goodies because it helps shorten their learning curve.
It’s like giving them recipes to create their own delicious meals.
They know exactly what steps to take.
People like to know that it’s possible to get from point A to B and that they don’t have to figure it all out on their own.
They’ll love you for helping to make life easier for them.
#3 Empowering Questions
You can’t be a powerful coach without knowing how to ask powerful questions.
As coaches we hold our clients as powerful by understanding that they have the wisdom within them to solve their own problems. We just have to help them unearth it.
Great coaching questions are open-ended, non-judgmental and helps to foster new ideas, visions and possible solutions.
Sure we’ll give them practical tips and how-to’s along the way, but a clients own inner guidance is gold!
It takes the pressure off of you and puts the responsibility right in the clients lap to change their own lives.
Ultimately they’re the only one who can do it anyway.
#4 A belief change process that works
Your clients need inner and outer tools to get them to their goals.
When they get stuck and caught up in the same old fears (or new ones) they need a way to shift that energy so that they can realign with their goals and move forward.
Ultimately your clients need to be able to “self coach” themselves when they get stuck or overwhelmed, and especially when their not taking actions (mental or physical) that are in alignment with their goals.
You need to be able to support them in this process.
#5 Confidence in handling strong emotions without getting caught up in your clients’ stories
You need to be able to manage your own emotional energy on a daily basis so that you stand in your power as a coach when sessions get sticky.
Getting caught up in your client’s old stories is the best way to make sure your clients keep experiencing the things they do not want in their lives.
You don’t help them when you buy into their stories, you just add fuel to the fire.
You have to learn to create a balance between letting it be ok about where they’re at emotionally in that moment, and helping them move the energy so that they don’t stay there too long.
A powerful coach can snap someone out of it in less than 15 minutes!
#6 A simple system for coaching on money (it always comes up so you’ll need to be prepared)
Resistance and fears around money is a common issue.
As clients move forward they’ll come up against their gremlins many times, especially as they move to new levels of success.
You have to be able to coach them through their stories around money, period!
Their attitude about money will hold them back big time.
This is one area where even small mindset breakthroughs can create great results for your clients.
#7 A system for coaching clients on how to make decisions, how to get out of overwhelm, how to prioritize and how to get clear and confident in moving forward
You need to be able to support your clients in creating a plan that is aligned with their goals.
You never want to be all over the place trying to help them stay on task and solve their problems.
Creating an action plan and chunking it down into 30 days at a time actions will help clients feel that their goals are doable and they won’t succumb to overwhelm as easily.
#8 Know your own “BS” and be actively working on identifying and unhooking your triggers
We all have out judgments, attitudes and other quirks we bring with us.
Even if we don’t want to admit it, we’ve got our own shit goin’ on sometimes.
We’re not always on our game. And that’s ok. Own it. Accept it.
But you’ve got to know how to unhook from your own shit.
You’ve got to take notice of the things you’re triggered by when you’re in a session with a client (or before you even get into a session with a client) and you’ve got to take full responsibility for how you feel and or react.
Alignment is king! Knowing how to manage your emotional energy is paramount to your success in your personal and professional life.
I help my clients bust through emotional residue in no time.
There are simple processes to use anytime you need and most don’t take more than two minutes to get ya’ there!
Get these powerful coaching tips under your belt and you’ll be a highly marketable, in demand coach in no time.
Especially heed number 8, it’s the most important of all of them!
ALIGNMENT IS KING!
If you just can’t get those emotions under control, connect with me here and let’s talk about getting you some support.
I know that when you don’t have much money it’s often hard to keep a positive attitude and move forward in your business.
It affects so much of your life.
You find yourself not exercising, eating a lot just to feel comfort, sometimes being nasty to others even when you don’t mean to.
You begin to panic and look around for the magic pill that’ll get you out of your mess further creating distraction and confusion for yourself.
You may even just stay in bed all day just waiting for the day to be over.
It’s a hard place to be… but it’s still a choice. Correction… it’s ALWAYS a choice.
Often as a society we think that if we just had more money or if we could just reach the level of success we’ve so desired that then we could feel free to BE happy.
Certainly you can work hard and have success, but once you reach that seeming “destination” people often realize that they still don’t feel whole.
They often feel like there’s something still missing.
Jim Carey, actor, comedian and thought leader said: “I wish that people could realize all their dreams & wealth & fame so that they could see that it’s not where you’re going to find your sense of completion.”
There is a really wealthy, well-known, entrepreneurial coach who earlier this year at one of his live events broke down in front of all his peers, colleagues, and clients and admitted that he still didn’t feel whole with all that he had.
Now this man has a beautiful wife and kids, millions of dollars, is a best selling author, has plenty of raving fans and clients, a beautiful home, travels the world speaking on live stages, has some of the most influential thought leaders on the planet as his friends and yet there he was in tears admitting that he still didn’t feel whole.
He still wasn’t genuinely happy.
So how can someone who seems to have everything be without happiness or be “without” wholeness? How is that possible?
Now I can’t say for certain why he felt this way, because I don’t know why he was vibrationally in that space on that particular day.
But I know that the overwhelming reason that people can have so much and still feel this way is because they are looking outside of themselves for that which can only be found WITHIN.
Many don’t realize that the void that they’re feeling can’t be filled with things or satisfied simply through action because the feeling of void is really only about their connection (or lack thereof) with themSELVES.
But people play the game of separation extremely well. I’m certainly guilty of this myself from time to time.
It’s the game that says that you are separate from Source, God, Spirit, the Divine, the Universe, Infinite Intelligence… and you do everything on your own.
You strive, struggle, achieve and make it all happen yourself.
I get it, we forget the truth sometimes…
But then… you look to other humans for your validation, security and support. Awww, snap!
You’ve made them your Source.
They are NEVER your direct Source.
They are all simply channels for your good to come through.
But all is not lost.
Fast forward a few months to this past October and that well known coach I talked about, has changed his life yet again.
No longer satisfied with havin’ it all and not feelin’ whole he’s brilliantly blended the inner with the outer and created one of his most successful programs to date and it was a “spiritually” focused program.
Nothing beats being aligned with who you really are. NOTHING, not action, not more money, nothing!
None of this is to say to you that you should stop being, doing or having anything that you want.
Maybe you do want the kind of lifestyle and success that this coach has, and you absolutely should if that is what you desire… it is really a beautiful thing. We can work together to help you reach your goals here.
But do it from a place of already knowing you are whole. Do it from a place of connectedness.
You don’t need to keep “workin’ on yourself” before you make a move.
You can do both the inner & outer work simultaneously and consistently in little increments that won’t make you crazy.
Your call to action moving forward:
-Take time each day to connect with Spirit (or whatever you resonate with).
-Take time each day to find things to be happy about. Find things to appreciate.
-Before you do anything set an intention for what you would like to unfold.
*And go about your day doing your work unencumbered by thoughts of trying to “make things happen.”
If you’re going to market, don’t do it with a mindset of “I hope they’ll understand me this time,” “I hope they’ll buy from me this time,” “I gotta figure out just what to offer so they’ll buy,” “it’s just gotta be perfect, cause I need this money,” “God I hope I say the perfect thing this time,” “God I hope this works…”
When thoughts like that come, just notice them, don’t judge them, thank them for their intention of TRYING to keep you safe, and then…
Tune in, set your intention, asking for guidance as you begin your task and then let go and let it flow through you.
It might take you a few minutes to get into the flow and find your way but know that you’re on the right path and that whatever flows from you, whatever ideas come to you, whatever you’re guided to is perfect in that moment.
And if you find yourself distracted again and confused. STOP. Regroup. Meditate. Go For a Walk. Dance. Have a Quickie. Whatever.
Set your intention again, and then… Just go with it!
Don’t be afraid to get it wrong, it’s all good!!!
Build that momentum.
The Universe has your back and everything is always working out for you.
I know sometimes it’s hard to look life in the face and say “I’m gonna feel good anyway.” It’s almost like a f*ckin’ dare, but you’ve gotta trust that it’s ok to feel good.
Give yourself permission. Fear and love can’t live in the same space.
Remember feeling good about YOU is the way. It’s the key to the kingdom.
And if you really look, there are plenty of things to feel good about.
I’ll leave it up to you to discipline yourself to look for those things. If you don’t want to, no worries you can keep your misery.
But tell me, brilliant one… How much is misery really “worth” to you? Will you stop sacrificing your happiness for it?
Most of us have a tug-of-war type of relationship with money.
We think it’s completely out of our control and that there are forces outside of ourselves that call all the shots.
We have it tied up with our businesses.
We have it tied up with our jobs – jobs that, for the most part we can’t stand and basically resent.
So it probably goes without saying that thoughts like these do not make for a really great relationship.
Myth #2 in this 3-part series of money beliefs you should stop f*ing believing in now is that you have to work your ass off to get it. If you didn’t get a chance to read about Myth #1 click here to check it out.
When I was working on my undergrad degree after a long period off to be a mommy, I was talking to my mother telling her of my plans for the final year ahead.
To which she told me that she didn’t think that I could raise my son, carry a full course load, be a research assistant, and have a research internship on the side.
It was a lot, but all I heard was “you can’t do it.”
Admittedly I’d felt inferior in my mothers eyes for a very long time and couldn’t figure out why.
Today I do know exactly why… but we’ll leave that for another time.
Bless my mom, we have a pretty good relationship today but back then our relationship was a bitch.
So… what do you do when someone tells you that you can’t do something?
You set out to prove just how wrong they are, right? Right.
I bussed my ass in school.
I got straight A’s, I got scholarships, grants & fellowships and did my best as a single mom.
But all mind you… to the detriment of one very important thing… my happiness.
I sacrificed my happiness because I had to prove myself, and not just to my mother but to everyone who had their eyes on me. I had to prove that I was worthy.
Worthy of their respect and praise.
I connected my achievements with my worthiness because it seemed that that’s how the world worked.
I mean teachers assign grades every day that say you’re work is worth an “A” or your work is worth an “F.”
And if your work is worth an “F,” they’re not just saying “oh maybe she’s brilliant in other ways,” no they’re often saying “something is wrong with this one.”
And it’s the same thing we do with money.
You push and buss your ass because the world says that if you will just fill your bucket with blood, sweat and tears you’ll prove your worthiness to the world, command our respect, and eventually gain your reward.
But how many of you are breaking your necks unhappily working hard in business or your job just to eek by.
And still you put in even more hours just trying to stay ahead of the game (or so you think).
Why are you not seeing the reward? Doesn’t hard work equal more money?
What it comes down to is this…
Any action taken from a place of LACK is always going to be counterproductive and perpetuate more feelings of lack which in turn creates more lackful experiences in your life.
You can’t satisfy that nagging feeling of “not having enough” simply by working harder.
The results you’re seeing is about the vibration of “not having enough” that you’re constantly emitting.
It’s about the gap between what you want and your habit of thought about having it.
The good news is you can turn it all around. Just take your time.
If you’ll start with how you want to FEEL or BE (before you do anything) and you let that inspiration to DO come from that place of alignment, then not only will you KNOW that you are worthy and that there’s nothing to prove to ANYONE, you will actually enjoy the things you DO, infuse that energy into your work and soon enjoy the rewards of those actions.
This isn’t about never working “hard,” because the things that you DO can enhance your state of being.
You have to keep in mind however, that what seems like “hard work” to some, may be “effortless” to others. It’s all perception.
But you always want to set an intention to do your “work” from a place of feeling good or from a place of feeling confident, or from a place of feeling like you’re being of service, or sometimes even from a place of “I don’t give a fuck, this is what I want to do in this moment, this is how I wanna do it, and I don’t care what anybody else is gonna think,” then you come from a place of power and the things you want must make their way into your world.
Stop looking outside of yourself to your job or your business or other people as the source of your good or your money.
They are not the Source. You are the Source. You are connected to the Source. They are simply channels.
Be so f*ing good to yourself that life can’t help but be so f*ing good to you.
I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before… A belief is simply a thought you keep thinking over and over and over. That’s it, plain and simple and the great thing is that this is something you have control over. You have the freedom to think ANYTHING you choose… ANYTHING!
You have the ability to activate a new belief and thus change the story that is your life. You can edit your own movie NOW!
It’s time to question some beliefs about one of the biggest areas so many smart, bad-ass, spiritually minded coaches struggle with… money!
There are 3 common myths about money that I want to bust in this 3-part series.
The choice of whether you choose to start believing differently will be up to you. But for now just suspend your belief in what you thought was true for a little while. You can return to your misery any time you want, but just gimme a few minutes here, ok?
I want to jump in with one of the biggest myths spiritually minded entrepreneurs succumb to when building their business… and it goes like this…
Myth #1: It’s wrong to charge for the talents I’ve gotten from Spirit/God/the Divine (whatever resonates)…
Here’s the thing… ALL your talents are from spirit. You’re a SPIRITUAL being having a physical experience. You’re more “Spirit/Energy” than flesh, blood and bone. All of your talents are Spiritual. Even if your talent is putting both your legs behind your head and well…
Look, why do we think it’s perfectly fine for doctors, attorneys, architects and the like to make good money for what they do but not for a “spiritual” person? Why do we deem what they do far more important than the talent we have?
Who in the fuck said it was spiritual and virtuous to struggle all the damn time? Who the fuck shared that fucking mental virus with the world. That shit DID NOT come from God/the Universe/Spirit or any such place! But I won’t get into that discussion in this post.
If we’re being honest with ourselves the real reason we set upon our “spiritual path” or go to church or seek for the answers to why we’re here and how to make sense of our lives is because we want the fucking struggle to end!
We want to finally find relief from the struggles we’re experiencing in our health, relationships, finances, etc. And we want to feel on purpose instead of flailing around like a fart in a stiff wind. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting the struggle to end or the methods you’ve been using up until now to do it, but I’ve got to tell ya…
The answers to the end of struggle aren’t actually out “there.” We are “truth” creators, we are writing the script of our lives and starring in the movie NOW… every frickin’ moment we’re thinking and feeling. And every time we continue to look “out there” we meet with resistance. The savior ain’t out there, “it’s” right where you are NOW!
It’s time to do away with this myth.
Money is simply energy. Don’t give it super powers. When you look to it as the source of your salvation you block the flow of it coming to you in the myriad forms of abundance that it comes.
There are so many of you who have bleeding hearts, who want to see that the “less fortunate” have what they need. And if you have to sacrifice by just getting by you’ll do it, because at least you can rest with the peace of mind that you’re changing lives, right? Well it’s really hard to rest when you’re up worrying all night about how to make more money and get more clients and change your own life.
And further, here’s the thing about wanting to see that the “less fortunate” (or people who can’t afford you) have what they need.
#1 When you see others as less fortunate you disempower them. You can’t hold others as powerful if you’re seeing them as weak and helpless. You don’t uplift them from your place of “seeing” them in lack. Not only do you disempower them, you reinforce feelings of lack within yourself and now you must experience more of it in your own life, that’s how the Law of Attraction works.
These people aren’t helpless or weak. The same power that is within you is powerfully coursing through their veins too. You must see them as powerful. This goes for whether you’re makin’ money in your biz or not!
Power coaching tip!
Your clients and potential clients are a source of infinite supply just like YOU. You must create a space for them to rise into that by holding them as powerful. ALWAYS hold clients and potential clients as powerful!!!
#2 If you’re not pulling in enough income for yourself first because you’re afraid to charge more or you’re letting people pay at discounted prices all the time, or don’t even like talking about money… you’re going to continue to struggle and end up resenting your clients because you’re not being paid well for your work.
You could be giving your all to your clients but when you’re done with those sessions and you look at your own life and you see that you didn’t fasten your own life preserver BEFORE you helped them, that fleeting good feeling of satisfaction is going to drown right along with you.
It is wonderful to be able to make a contribution in the lives of others, but it’s even better when you’re not scrambling to meet your own needs, right? You are so much more creative and powerful when you’re not fucking worried about money all the time.
Am I right or am I right?
We’ll bust another myth in our next post. In the meantime read this article again and decide whether you’re done being buffeted about like a cork on a choppy sea or not. I’ll help you float more peacefully downstream: Click here.
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